Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I Rule. But confused about things.



I am Cute. There no splanation fo it. Just am. And I get things wi my Cute. But there are many thing I don't get. It a puzzal to me. Me can't spell good or talk good, but I give happenings to describe:

When I eliminates, there be a perfect place it should go. I know that perfect place. When I finds it. It takes a time, but I will finds it. My Human doesn't think so, but that not make it NOT SO! Yet, My Human gets impatient when I search for my perfect place for eliminates. I sacrifice greatly for my chosey spot. I holds, holds, holds, quiver, and holds - Then I goes. But olly when it ih perfect.
I thoughts my Human impatient, but now there snow on de ground, and I takes MUCH longer to find my perfect place, and he tuggin and grumpin and complainin. But me standards non-nee-gosh-able. And so it go. I still find time to eats my eliminates, but olly indoors.

When I pee, no perfect place there. Just go! There be a compromise here. I hope he see dat.

My tooths hurt. But when I sinks dem into things - anythings - they feels good. Like a body rub. I likes doin it. My Human give me things, things be "Okay for Tooth-Sinkin", and I sometimes comply. And sometimes I don't. A lot. A LOT of times I sometimes don't. I find things, things ready and 'vailable. The edge of de carpet. The corner wood on de wall (mash!). Flesh. That's my fave. It mash real good and easy to get cause they alway tryin-da pets me! He dangle that fleshy flesh flesh a nail's length from my tooths without my neck out, then I sticks my neck out. And I sinks my tooths. My tooths stop hurtin fo 1 second, then he scream like little mouse. My pup mates bit back, but my Human does not. Good deal.

Just got my jewels removed. Look at me! Why not make more oh me? But dey's gone. Foh-eva. My Human tell me he LOVES me. So what gives? He got lots ah friends - but none of they's jewels come off. They there, cause I stick my nose there - they there. Does he LOVE, or does he LIE? I think de answer be written in the plastic cone round my neck that makes me hear bettah.

I tell you mo. Latuh.

2 comments:

Amy Kingman said...

That was hilarious! LOL

One of the Wrong People said...

I thought this was funny as crap!